The Sands of Tattoine

It lately occurred to me that "alligator" rhymes with "Tusken Raider." I have not yet begun to exhaust the possibilities this brings to the table.  Here's a song to the tune of "Lakes of Ponchatrain."


Twas on a bright march morning when I bid Mos Eisley adieu
the empire had just drafted me, so far away I flew
I curse all evil empires, they won't be taking me
and I set out to hide myself on the sands of Tattooine

I stepped onboard a dew back and rode 'neath the burning suns
and I rode the sands til evening and at night I clenched my guns
all strangers here, no  friends I found til a robed girl came to me
and I fell in love with a jawa girl on the sands of Tattooine

I said "my pretty jawa girl, my life is all in ruins
if it weren't for tusken raiders I would sleep out in the dunes"
she poured me a blue milk and said, "just come inside with me
for we never turn a stranger out on the sands of tattooine."

she took me to her sand crawler and she took off her hood
the rumors that they're ugly underneath them is no good
to make an action figure out of her would just be mean
so handsome was my jawa girl on the sands of Tattooine

I asked he if she'd marry me, but she had another boy
he was a bounty hunter off in darth vader's employee
she didn't love the work he did, but she loved him more than me
still she helped hide me from stormtroopers on the sands of Tattooine

But when I woke, my arms were gone, my legs were metal cold
she'd replaced my limbs with robot parts I barely could control
she warned me if I tried to run she'd wipe my memory
i was just another droid for sale on the sands of Tattooine

So fare you well, my jawa girl, though I shall not have your hand
I won't forget your kindness in the crawler on the sands
at least before you sold me to this farming family
for whom I'll be a service droid on the sands of Tattoine

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Adam's New Book: Sept 2013