Archaeology

My top dresser drawer has been my junk drawer for as long as I can remember, and some of the junk has been in there for a long, long time. Every time I open it, I wonder if I'll discover the cure for some disease (or possibly some bacteria that'll give me cholera). Anyway, here's some results from a recent dig:



A handful of ID cards - my 8th grade school ID, a metallica fan club card from 97, and an MST3K Info Club card from about 95.



M.U.S.C.L.E. men! They've been in that yellow thingy for YEARS - the first use I remember using the yellow thingie for was to carry around Garbage Pail Kids 1985, but I've had it since before that. I'd say the muscle men found their way in in the late 80s, though they've been in the drawer since 86 or so. Also included: some arrowheads my neighbor gave me (early 90s), a Steve Avery rookie card (89 topps), and a magnet that probably dates the the early 80s.



In eighth grade I had a hat that was covered in buttons (no, this was not hip at the time. I was a dork, then, too). Left to right: an anti-smoking one that I think I got at the Iowa State Fair in the early 90s, a handmade one (it was supposed to be an anarchy sign over a smily face with the words "crazy days are happy days." Uncool though my hat was, this button was well-admired), and a "why be normal" that came from a store at Merle Hay Mall called DV8. They sold buttons like this, incense, and a fine selection of junk made outta hemp. I thought they were the coolest store in Des Moines.



Four early 80s audio tapes. I think they found their way into the drawer when I digitized some of the stories I recorded on side 2 (which I did a lot of in the 80s) a few years back. The stories are wacky and full of references to "Muppet Babies." Hearing them a few years ago, my mother described them as "what A.D.D. sounds like."



My mom started working for Mattel in the late 80s; this is some Toy Fair schwag she picked up. A Ren and Stimpy cassingle signed in ballpoint by Billy West (who did the voices and ended up doing many Futurama voices). The button advertises a "The Last Action Hero," a total flop film that Mattel was all excited about in 1993 or so. I never saw it.



Finally, we have me in the costume I wore to school on Halloween one day in high school. Going to a school in Gwinnett County, Georgia dressed as Gene Simmons - even 15 years after most of the religious groups stopped talking about KISS - was an excellent way to attract interesting lectures. I'd put it on the Weird Chicago bus, but I'm pretty sure Simmons would try to sue me or something.


There was also something in there that's making me itch, but I'm a bit afraid to guess what it might have been.

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Adam's New Book: Sept 2013